People-Pleasing, Perfectionism, and Burnout

Smiling and nodding are getting old.

Paying more than your fair share for the bill…

Agreeing to someone else’s plans when you’d rather do something else…

It’s getting old… and you’re tired of pretending it’s okay when it’s not.

But it’s so automatic to agree with others! Even if they ask a simple question like “What do you want to do?” or “How do you feel?” you don’t even know what to say!

Sometimes, you wish you could say, “No,” or “I don’t want to,” or “I’m frustrated right now,” but if you said those things, you’d feel selfish or guilty.

Rocking the boat seems too scary. What if it ruined the relationship?

Anything less than perfection is failure.

For work, you spend countless hours editing the PowerPoint slides and rehearsing the presentation you’re going to give the following week. It’s straightforward enough, but you pore over it like your life depends on it.

Your friends and family are asking when they can see your new place, but you’re waiting until you’ve figured out how to arrange the furniture and have the pictures hanging just the right way. You’re waiting for the right time, but it never happens.

You believe,“Mistakes are not okay. Failure is shameful. People won’t like or accept you if they see you failing.”

Perpetual exhaustion and irritability…

They’re just par for the course now.

It used to be enjoyable to hang out with your family and friends on the weekends, but now it’s just another chore you don’t have enough time or energy to do. There’s so much on your to-do list – too many places to be at once. It’s hard to get excited about the weekend or the week ahead.

Even doing things like going out to eat with your partner or playing tennis, which you used to love, no longer hold their appeal.

You find yourself snapping at your partner and kids for making too much noise or being too demanding, even though they’re just themselves.

Lately, everything feels like a mountain you have to climb.